Amelia Brianne Crabtree. Molly. I tried, and tried, and tried to get pregnant. When it finally happened I was in shock. We found out about her existence on August 2, 1991, exactly one year after Iraq invaded Kuwait.
Guess what? It is now almost May. So well over a year since my last post. This one has been difficult but I have also just not been doing it.
Back to Molly...
I wonder what to include and what to leave out. Of course I could go on and on and on... like women do about their children. My pregnancy was a learning experience. I was sick as heck. Then got as big as a house. I was almost TWO WEEKS late when my doctor scheduled an induction. A couple of days before that I started feeling uncomfortable at night but woke up the next morning most definitely in labor. I will spare the gruesome details but Molly finally made an appearance at 10:30 in the morning---- over 36 hours after I "started feeling uncomfortable". And we had to force her out with a c-section. Not how I pictured things going but I soon forgot about all that as the realization that we were PARENTS set in. I vividly recall the look we gave each other when we got in the car to leave the hospital. Then nervously laughed. They were letting us take an infant human being home with us. Were they crazy?
Oh how I loved that baby. I could not stop kissing her. Everything she did was photo worthy... and this was "back in the day" when we actually developed film. Her daddy had to miss her first Christmas when he was sent to Somalia but Molly sent him off with her very first wave.
Molly was a natural leader (oldest child) in our family. She was very good at keeping us on task and reminding us of the rules. And she was always so beautiful. She did have a bit of an awkward jeans & star wars t-shirts with a Telli-Tubbie hooked to her belt loop phase- but she has certainly grown out of that! Nowadays she looks like she stepped out of a fashion magazine.
I think I can safely say that a defining moment in Molly's life was when her dad and I divorced. I'm sure it felt as though her (and her siblings) world spun out of control. I was a mess. And I did not handle the choices put in my path the way I might if I could have a redo. And her dad was not consistent with visits. It breaks my heart to think of what my children must have been feeling. Molly was 15 and handled it far better than I think I would have.
Molly had always said she wanted to be a wife and a mommy when she grew up. Much to the chagrin of her school guidance counselors. But Molly has always had a way of making sure things (within her control) have a way of falling into place. So as Molly celebrated her 21st birthday last week- she is the best wife and mommy I've ever met. She and her husband Ryan are deeply in love, best friends, and are sealed for time and all eternity. She has two beautiful and amazing daughters- Brianne will be 3 in a few weeks and Leighton is 18 months.
At this point in time my relationship with Molly is strained. It breaks my heart but I try to understand. Each and every day that goes by without seeing or at least talking to her, literally brings me to my knees. I will focus on the positive. The wonderful things she is doing with her life. And the dreams she had that have come true. Isn't that what we truly want for our babies?
Now for some "favorites"... pics of Molly.
No comments:
Post a Comment