"Hang In There"

Sometimes life just sucks. And the holidays can magnify any grief, anxiety, loss, sadness, etc. a person might be going through.

So don't let the title of this blog fool you- I'm not here to say "Hang In There" to those of us in the bah humbug group.  Quite the opposite. I'm here to politely explain that if one more person tells me to "Hang In There" I might just punch them.

Don't get me wrong. I've get it. I know it's really tough to know what to say when someone is sad. So let me help you out. You actually don't have to say anything at all. We are humans. And part of the human experience is pain and sadness. We've gone through divorces. And loss of loved ones. And financial struggles. And so on.  So we don't all have those wonderful photos of our family all together in their matching jammie pants to post to Facebook and Instagram. 

Does this mean I don't want you to share your happy times with me? Not at all. When I don't feel like I want to see those things I know how to keep myself off of social media. But it does mean that when you ask how my holidays have been and I force a smile and say "hmmm... not so great", please just nod, I personally appreciate a "yeah things suck sometimes", and I am even cool with a hug. But please... please... no more...

"Hang In There"


PS- I've chosen to keep this about the holiday feelings and events in general but I assure you I am aware of and believe in the true reason for Christmas. That is another lecture I do not need. My faith has gotten me through some dark moments and will continue to do so. 

PSS- Chill out. I am ok. This is somewhat tongue in cheek. Somewhat. And I guarantee you I am not the only person that feels this way.

Here we go again. I'm in the middle of another divorce. I am embarrassed to actually count. I used to make fun of people that were like this. 

I'm flawed. I make mistakes. Especially when it comes to emotion. 

There's this part in the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" when GiGi says this...

"I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

So.... where do we draw the line? Do we keep doing stupid stuff in hopes of finding an amazing love? Or do we close ourselves off?

What I do know is that it's time for me to take a step back, take some time alone, breathe, soul search, heal my soul, and then see where that takes me.


In the mean time... can we just get through this stupid divorce already?! It was much easier when there was no money and no stuff to argue over. Sheesh!

Moms have feelings too!

I started this post a few weeks ago and only got as far as the title.  I was clearly having a mom moment.

One of those moments when your kids seem to forget that we have feelings, feelings that get hurt too.  I saw a post on Facebook today that pretty much summed it up...

1. And you still do. Actually more now. The very first time I cried from a mixture of fear and excitement. I don't recall crying in labor but I know some do and I don't blame them. I do remember crying from sleep deprivation. I cried when you got your shots. I cried when your bus left for kindergarten. I cried when your friends were mean to you. I cried when you won league in water polo and went crazy with your team. I cried during your cheer performances. I cried during every Primary program. I cried when you'd call me late at night for a no questions asked ride home. I cried when you spent 4 days in "juvy". I cried when you moved in with your dad. I cried just the other day when I got your text saying "I love you mom and hope you are having a good day."

2. And because I'm not always selfless sometimes I took that piece of pie. But more often I gave it to you.

3. It really did. But it was worth it.

4. Always. I still am. Mostly afraid I'm going to mess it all up. I don't have an instruction book.

5. Farrrr from it.

6. Sometimes even stole a kiss. I still do when I'm lucky enough to have you fall asleep in my bed.

7. Yep.

8. Even worse now.

9. Try to.

10. Yep.


To wrap this up I have something to say about motivation. I am entering a phase of motherhood that is super hard. Really, really, hard. I was recently asked by a mother of 2 year old twins what I felt was the toughest age. My answer to her was whatever age you are in at the moment. And I still feel that was a good answer. But this late teens/early twenties thing is rough. Apparently I "meddle" and "interfere". I watch Dr. Phil sometimes and I don't think my kids have any idea what those words really mean. But my closing thoughts are this... whenever you may feel like your parents are meddling or interfering stop for a moment and consider their motivation. Lets say they are suggesting or encouraging you to maybe choose something as a major. Why do you think they would do that? What's in it for them? Do you think they get some kind of bonus from the school if you choose that major? Do you think the dean will buy them donuts or something? It's much more likely that they have some life perspective and maybe they love you and want what's best for you!!!  Seriously. It's not rocket science kiddos.  Why do you all (and I suffered from it as well) think that you are sooo different and the adults in your life just don't get it?  Even if that were the case... let's go back to their motivation. Why would they even care? 

Ok... stepping off my soapbox. I need to go eat some dinner.

I have A.D.D.

That may not be news to some of you. I have A.D.D. It's not news to me either. One of the fancy new doctors I see for my fibromyalgia recently re-diagnosed me. And as I am sitting here trying to force myself to focus on my to do list it is painfully obvious.

Man I'm tired I wonder if David is still thinking about coming home early I wish I could just sit down and write my book I wonder if the babies feel like Face-timing I wonder if Molly feels like Face-timing I wonder if Hunter is liking his classes I wonder if Amy's interview went ok at least I don't have to feel like I should be cleaning something since David was sweet enough to hire some cleaners oh jeez should I really go back to school can't I just get an honorary degree or something ugh I know I'm going to have to go out for court and that is going to bug David I hope Sara is feeling better I hope Becca is doing ok I wish my kids would understand what I try to tell them....


Ok...I won't keep going although I could. FOCUS Shelly.

Let's get back to sharing my favorites. It's easy. I thought I'd try this new lip balm and it's the bee's knees. Pun intended.