I started this awhile back. Not to air dirty laundry, although many will see it as that. But I have been portrayed certain ways. And even looked down upon for giving up on my marriage. So I made this list awhile back for myself more than anything. It helps me put things in perspective when I start questioning myself. This list helps me see the absolute chaos that my life was while in the relationship. And I assure you, this is not an exaggeration. If anything I am being conservative in these figures.
1 relationship that lasted approximately 2100 days
2 weddings 1/2010 in Provo, UT & 6/2012 in Las Vegas, NV
2 divorces
1 year long separation
1 protective order after he threatened to shoot me (to his co-worker)
4 times picking him up from jail upon release
10 visits to him in county jail
1 meeting with a bail bondsman in a parking lot
2 stays in residential addiction recovery (rehab)
14 family group meetings during rehab
30+ LDS Addiction Recovery for Families or Al-anon meetings
5 days of missed work for me
15 days of work taken off early or gone in late for me
1 job lost for attendance issues also for me
12 times supporting him in court- 3 of those he was brought in in shackles
4 nights in hotels for myself and my kids to get away from either drunken rage and/or threats
12 days without running water after bank account was gambled away in Wendover
3 stays in detox with BAC in the near fatal range (.33 once - .08 is a DUI)
I'm sure I am forgetting things. And honestly I hope I can forget a lot of this. The figure that is the cherry on top is that he remarried 59 days after our divorce was final. So someone else gets to start on her list.
But I am cleaning up after the mess that was left and moving forward....
PS- I thought I'd add that if you or someone you know has been in a relationship with an addict and needs help or just someone to talk to, feel free to send them my way. I went into this very naive but I've learned a lot.
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